Love & Relationships

Open Thread: It’s Not The Size Of the Ring, It’s The Commitment That Matters

Gelila And Wolfgang Puck's Dream For Future Africa Foundation Gala

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When we were all little girls, we had this vision of the perfect wedding with the man of our dreams, 200 guests and of course a beautiful gown that would make us look like a princess. Wishful thinking and womanhood has taken us one step closer to that childhood dream, but instead of worrying about having a killer dress that makes us look like a queen, my friends and I are considerably more focused on something a tad bit more important and expensive—the size of that rock.

Although material objects are not the determining factor of whether or not your boyfriend is the right man to marry, it is hard to imagine getting engaged and not wanting to show off the ring that you were proposed to with. Although marriage may be years away for myself and my peers, in a discussion of love and sacrifice, we discussed a crucial aspect of solidifying a union with a quite valuable token. I asked my fellow sisters, “Does size matter?”

There were six of us in the group chat and only one person sternly admitted that the size of the ring mattered to them. Now, in a perfect world I would like to honestly say that I wouldn’t care if my man gave me a pebble for a ring, it’s more about the gesture than anything else. But we all know that is not true. The ring is a representation of love and the union of two people bound in matrimony.Therefore, it should be as big as the love that comes with it. In my mind, the size of the ring equates to the value that one places on his woman.

Going into the conversation, I was certain that my engagement ring should be as big and as bold as the feelings that my husband to be has for me, but the truth is not every man can afford Kanye West bling. For a long time, I convinced myself that I would tell a man the honest truth when he got down on one knee. I probably wouldn’t embarrass him in the middle of his proposal, but perhaps when we got back to our home. I’d tell him, “Yes, I want to marry you, but I’d rather wait until you can afford the ring of my dreams.” Maybe not in those words, but I’d basically attempt to explain how important it is to me. However, my mother taught me a very valuable lesson about love and marriage that changed my perception forever.

My mother didn’t have the biggest ring and she didn’t even have the desire to show off the ring that she had, but she was blessed with a man who loved her and travelled with her for 8 years of happy marriage. My father gave her an ultimatum and she made a choice, he told her that he would return the ring and put his savings towards a bigger and better one or they can go on a honeymoon lasting several years. Obviously my she chose to travel.

The real lesson is that money comes and goes and a ring is just another material item that can be lost, upgraded and purchased over and over again. The most important thing is having a good man. One who treats you right and promises to love you over and over again.

Kim Kardashian

Photo Credit: Huffington Post

Of course I would love to show off a 15-karat diamond ring, but for normal people, that’s a down payment on a house. So what’s more important here? The answer should be obvious, but in the back of my mind, I’m still skeptical about showing my curious friends a subpar piece of jewelry after receiving the happiest news of my life.

It’s clear that the really ring isn’t for me. The ring is for the world. If I truly love a man and he proposed to me with a ring that didn’t even have a diamond, I’d probably break down and say “yes!” But who wouldn’t want to brush their hair back from their eyes just to show off that massive shine on their ring finger?

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