Opinion: You Can Become Celibate, Regardless of Your Past


2015 BET Awards - ArrivalsOne of the hottest celebrity couples this summer is singer Ciara and NFL player Russell Wilson. They are also currently one of the most controversial because of their decision to practice celibacy in their relationship and participate in public discussions about it. Many have argued that because of her past relationship with Future―where she had her first child out of wedlock and dated other celebrity beaus―it’s not believable for her to be the new face of the Chastity Belt due to her past. From the “Future Hive” putting her past relationships on blast and calling her names other than a child of God, it’s very disheartening to see that so many of us in the young population don’t believe in or respect a celibate relationship from someone who was sexually active in the past.

In a relationship, both people have to come to an agreement of what direction they want to go. Russell Wilson has been very vocal about his faith, from every interview during his Superbowl-winning rookie season with the Seattle Seahawks to a recent interview to San Diego’s Rock Church when he first became public on the topic. Since then, both celebs have been using the vow to discuss their Christian faith and the importance of relationships without sex to allow each other to build a “solid foundation.”

Photo Credit(s): Getty

This isn’t the first time we’ve seen a beautiful #PynkLove couple be public about abstaining from sexual activity. Another famous relationship who famously touted their celibacy vow is actress Meagan Good and her film executive husband Devon Franklin, who was celibate for a decade and dated her for a year before their marriage was consummated in July 2012. Good also created a stir in the public eye because she has also been attached to a few celebrities before settling down with the pastor. In an interview with Global Grind she said, “So I would meet guys who are Christians or loved the Lord, but they weren’t trying with all their heart to walk with Him. And I wouldn’t feel in myself that that was the guy, so even if I liked him or was attracted to him I would say, OK I’m not going to settle.”

People fail to realize you can change when you feel the reason to change. These two women are great examples that regardless of your past, if you meet someone who cares about you, shares the same beliefs as you and you both hold yourselves accountable for reaching your goal, it’s possible for a fulfilling relationship and the sex would be a bonus and the end. There are other women who have also chosen been public about their sex lives, or lack therof, whether while being single or in a committed relationship including Jill Scott, Jessica White and Tamera Mowry, who was a virgin until age 29.

This lifestyle isn’t for everyone, it’s completely up to you and your partner, if you’re in a relationship. It’s just refreshing to see in a sex-crazed society, it’s beautiful to see Black women being vocal about their faith or just personal beliefs. Encouraging other women to do the same as a single woman or challenging relationships to take a break from physical activity and focus on the other components of a healthy courtship whether you stopped having sex three hours ago or three years shows that you can always try something new if that’s a change you want to make in your life.

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