When we say that we don’t mean that he’s gay or you’re lesbian so the chances of a physical connection would be null, we mean he likes girls, you like guys, but you don’t like each other and you have a strictly platonic friendship with no weird feelings involved. We’ve heard that no matter how cool you both may be, at some point, the guy friend may try to slide out the friend zone. So the question is, is it really possible to have a male bestie?
Here’s a breakdown of the benefits of having a true male friend.
1. He’s still a gentleman. He’d still hold the door for you, allow you to order first and make sure you get home safely. A guy friend treats his gal pal like a sister so he respects her and treats her well.
2. He can decode guy behavior. If you’re dating someone, he can tell you before that guy will whether or not he is really feeling you or has ulterior motives. Your friend is man first and will let you know firsthand what’s going on in a guy’s head because he wouldn’t want to see you get hurt.
3. He’s resourceful. Whether it’s to find that dead mouse that is decaying somewhere in your apartment, go with you to the mechanic to make sure you’re not getting swindled for your car repair, or being your wingman at the wedding for your ex’s sister you’re still cool with but don’t want her to know you’re still single in real life, you have an automatic buddy to handle all of the above.
4. He will always like you for you. You both met in the 6th grade when you had braces and acne and now you’re still friends post-college weight and multiple tattoos and piercings. However you have changed, he’s been there with you to witness the transformations and never judged or criticized you for your choices and will continue to do so.
5. He would respect your relationship. If you have a solid platonic friendship, he would honor your relationship and respect those boundaries. So although you both may hang out less because you have a beau, he’d still be there for you. Just like a sister, he wants the best for you.
Here’s a breakdown of what to watch out for if he likes you on the low (from a male’s perspective):
1. He’s a hater. If every time you talk to him about a new guy he complains about their sneaker game, the spelling of their middle name or the car they lease, he’s looking for ways to drive your attention back to him and consider him as a better option.
2. He’s always been single, to you. If he has never talked about or brought around a girlfriend, he wants you to know he’s always available when you’re ready to make a move.
3. He’s your “yes” man. It’s great if he’s resourceful, but he will do any and every favor you ask him to do, every time you ask, he’s afraid. Because if he tells you no for any favor, there’s fear that would ruin his chances of you looking at him as a potential boyfriend.
4. He’s flirty and makes suggestive comments. You are both good looking people and are honest with each other, so it’s okay to compliment your friend when he cleans up well or wipe BBQ sauce off his face. However, if he’s hugging you tighter than a church hug and says things like, “if you were my girl…,” we think he’s trying to tell you something.
5. He’s your mom’s favorite guy for you. If he’s bringing the bomb yellow potato salad to your friends potlucks and remembering to send your grandmother flowers for her birthday, he’s campaigning for everyone to vote for him to be your next bae.
If you suspect any of the above, we think it’s definitely great to have that conversation though to see where his head is at. Just ask, “hypothetically, what’s an indication if you secretly like one of your female friends?” See where it goes from there.