Just recently former NBA star Amar’e Stoudemire confessed to fathering a child outside of his marriage to wife Alex Welch, who he has been married to for five years. She is not the first woman to experience this and probably won’t be the last. Let us not forget Gabrielle Union experienced this with her husband Dwayne Wade and the list goes on and on.
While many people may rush to judgement or whether or not a person should stay or leave, it is always easier said than done until the situation happens to you.
We talked to a few of our #PynkGirls and as usual, they kept us on the edge of our seats with their responses to the matter. Check out what they had to say:
“No, I wouldn’t stay because that is a deal breaker. I’m big on faithfulness and to bring another child into the relationship is unfair. Would a man allow a woman to cheat and bring home his child? We have to have higher self-worth and self-esteem, in order to set boundaries for people who may not honor your standards. I can forgive him but we would be done.” -Natasha H.
“It’s one thing to cheat but it is another meaning to bring a child out of the betrayal. There is no respect for the marriage in having unprotected sex with another woman and laying down with me too. I don’t blame the child but I will blame him.” -Lisa B.
“I never say never because I don’t believe infidelity always has to mean the ending of a relationship, however….getting another woman pregnant to me is a display of carelessness and disrespect. There’s too much contraception available in these streets for folks to be procreating haphazardly. People cheat but they don’t have to be messy about it either. It adds another dynamic to things because now there are kids involved. Don’t know if I am that big of a person to be able to move past that.” -Natoya B.
“I’d leave. When a man has a baby with another woman that’s a signal that he’s in another relationship and/or felt comfortable enough to have unprotected sex with her. A complete disregard and ultimate disrespect for his spouse. And let’s be honest, it’s not always easy to get up and leave because of legal things, paperwork, co-signs etc. As women we can be too forgiving.” -Antoinette W.
“Nope because that is the ultimate betrayal. Someone that I used to talk to heavily did that and once I got my feelings out I was done and am still done. It hurts that he did that after telling me he loved me, but now you cannot be trusted and that is an issue. I wouldn’t be able to face that innocent child appropriately and I couldn’t trust him again for doing that. I don’t condone cheating and I wouldn’t be okay with my husband giving another woman his seed and not me.” -Janet K.
“He’s a cheater! He took it a step further and cheated with no protection. The other woman will be in our lives forever due to the child. The woman and child = constant reminder of infidelity and violation of marriage and trust! I can forgive and move on. God will forgive my divorce since he cheated.” -Layla K.
“This happened to me. We tried to make it work and at first we couldn’t. We were great parents though and I understood that he needed to be with both kids equally. It was hard but we parted ways. He was genuinely sorry for hurting me and breaking up our family. Some time passed and we reconciled. We have 2 beautiful kids and love each other dearly. Our friendship and honesty got us through one of the hardest times in our relationship. I wouldn’t recommend this for anyone else though. This was my walk, my choice to forgive and let completely go. What I thought would be a deal breaker because it hurt me to my core, ended up not being my deal breaker. Love showed me that I could forgive and love him wholeheartedly with complete trust. I don’t regret a thing!” -Latasha H.
“I’d bail and sue him!” -Kimberly J.