Pynk Talk

#PynkTalk: Would you date a man that once dated men?

Photo courtesy of King.guigo Instagram


So this week in the news: Trump is banning Transgenders from the military although they choose to preserve and protect the American country. Bobby Valentino was caught with his pants down running from a Transgender’s home and Lil Duval made a comment about Transgender’s that was not so diplomatic. I think we detect a pattern here, do you see it too?

Although we at Pynk are not interested in the gossip, we are concerned about what has been going on in our communities. While we never pass judgment, we do sometimes question the state of affairs that face us today and in the near future. One of those concerns are dating straight black men.

While most straight black women are looking for a straight black man, we wonder if a black woman would ever consider dating a black man who once dated men. No, we are not speaking about a flamboyant gay man, more than likely he has no interests in you. We are speaking of the black man that once connected with men. Let’s face it, some women right now are dating men that are on the DL (Down Low). And since black women have often stated that most good black men are gay, would she be willing to look beyond his past and love him for the man that he is today.


We spoke with some of our #PynkGirls and this is what they had to say:

“I would be worried that he would go back to seeing males. It’s already bad enough I have to worry about women.” –Dominique A.

“No, if he is attracted to both sexes then neither could ever fully satisfy him. It’s a hard task to ask of anyone even if he really wants to, change his preference. He may find it very difficult. I wouldn’t count on him being able to shut that part of himself off.” -Neah E.

“No! It’s enough to think about a man going after another woman. Add men to the mix and it’s all bad! I’m not saying that people can’t change because they can.” -Maleeka H.

“Not ever. I don’t believe men can be delivered from that. I believe when society tries to force gay men to go to counseling it’s a horrible mistake. It only puts pressure on them to confine to what society wants! Leaving a future wife with a forcefully gay/kinda straight/50 shades of grey definition of a man.” Rosalind L.

“Yes, at the end of the day if the person loves you and wants to be with you then go for it. No different than a man dating a woman. You’re gonna go through the same relationship nonsense, so what’s the difference? If we love each other and we want to be together, then that’s for us.” -Binkey L.

“I’m currently seven months pregnant with a man who I’d just found out was on the DL. I went to prom with him and have ‘history’ that I thought was viable when we reconnected last year after not seeing one another since high school. He’s also very close with my male cousins, whom he had played sports with growing up. He’s a very intelligent man, with a lot of potentials but his emotional and mental capacity is very unstable. He broke up with me right before we found out about the pregnancy and now I’m dealing with the new knowledge of his prior relationships with men. I feel if I denied a relationship based solely on this information, I wouldn’t be able to serve my God the way I strive to do on a daily basis. I cannot judge him for his prior or current life choices as I’d hate for a potential mate to do the same to me. I’m almost 100% sure that the revelation of his dating men was held until after the baby so that I could be unbiased in my judgment. I probably would have reacted in the opposite direction had it not been for the baby. I’m grateful for my growth in the Lord and his plan for my life.” -Anonymous

We noticed that most #PynkGirls are concerned with the idea that the man will go back to dating men. This is a valid point, but like one of our girls stated, would we want to be judged by our past?

So we ask you ladies, would you ever date a man that once dated men?

Share your thoughts below.

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