Co-parenting and Tech Solutions

The course of events that lead two parents to a “co-parenting” environment or arrangement is unique to the individuals involved. We’ve all heard the first and second-hand accounts of one parent being more active than another, over things that are in the grand scheme very basic in nature i.e. scheduled care coverage, school pick-up/drop-off, planned events with friends/ family. We talked to 10 different co-parenting moms and dads to get smart around the simple tasks that end up being the most frustrating moments. We were able to boil it down to the 5 most important criteria for co-parenting parents: 

Fluid & Consistent Communication- This concept of fluid consistent communication weaves itself through the remaining four areas of focus - for good reasons. If you can literally communicate with Uber to schedule a ride in advance, but somehow have trouble with keeping the communication with your partner there's a serious disconnect.  Perhaps there is reluctance based on the history of the relationship (or lack thereof for that matter), and sometimes the best and only thing to do is to set some ground rules on how you both plan to make communication consistent and clear. 

Accountability & Responsibility

Setting best practices with respect to accountability, is especially crucial in setting the arrangement up to be successful.  Having an open honest conversation about what can be easily achieved vs. what is feasible but would require shifting on either end is essential. Points of contention around this subject were really interesting, because this group of moms and dads found that they were more aggravated when any piece of previously agreed responsibility changed at the last minute.  Being mindful of those shifts is key to building or rebuilding trust between your co-parenting partner.

Flexibility

This one deliberately follows accountability, because in most cases this side of the coin is most frequently abused.  Unfortunately, there are some who find themselves in situations with zero flexibility which can be almost as difficult as someone abusing that flexibility.  Being rigid and unwavering out of spite is no good for anyone involved.  Conversely, being open to covering for your co-parenting partner when possible is important and might allow you to cash in on the same benefit when absolutely needed.  

Remember who you're doing it for!

The last and most important of these criteria - is to remember the importance of creating a loving and safe space for your child/children.  Childhood experiences have the power the determine the trajectory for our future selves, so being present in how you handle your co-parenting situation can drastically change how your child perceives the entire family dynamic, ultimately reinforcing the positive behaviors you'd hope for them to emulate.

Don't be afraid to start the conversation with your co-parenting partner about what you both can improve upon and how these tools can help!